Meeting Aesclepius

As a entry note to this meditation, I had a setback from the great relief I had previously posted re: my day free from pain with the epidural shot. Thursday, while cleaning the pool filter, my back suddenly popped, and I was dropped to my knees as all the blocked pain came rushing back in. I know that the pain doctor said this would be a trial and error pace, but I was so disappointed to have to get rushed to the ER, after a day of feeling alive again. I am doing a little better, but this blog is late, because I can't sit at the comp for very long at one time, but I don't want to be any later on getting this out.

Besides, with this meditation being "Meeting Aesclepius", I was excited to get to it, because even before performing the meditation, I knew it would be good for me, and especially given my current physical situation. With the setback in treatments, I have had to go back to taking the handfuls of medications every 6 hours, but I am fully hopeful that I have at least another avenue of healing that should allow me to be rid of the meds once and for all.
     In doing this exercise, I envisioned two separate men who I feel exemplify that image of the Wise Healer; Dr. Hoyt, my H.S. sophomore AP Biology teacher, and Dr. Page, my first transpersonal Psychology teacher. I saw them merge in my head, wearing green robes, with a loving smile, and time-worn, but healthy skin. He seemed to shine from within, and his eyes were aglow. There was a knowing look on his face, and as the meditation progressed, I realized that the look was a welcoming home of a part of myself. There was a feeling of calm goodness, happiness, love and healing; I envisioned a drum, rattle, snake skins and incense smoke, as we sat to face and contemplate each other. With the visioning of the white light from him to me, it was natural for me to progress the vision before the speaker did on the disc - I was already seeing the light coming from this being's top four chakras (Crown, Third Eye/Mouth, Throat, and Heart) before being told to. With the first re-emergence of this energy into my own, I was aware of my heartbeat being intense, but not sped up or racing, just like all-of-a-sudden, it was there. I attributed this to the re-entry of the love that this energy brings. I noticed as we looked at each other, I was not self-focused on my back pain; although I am worried that just the right move in the wrong way will bring intense agony back, it wasn't as important as welcoming back the Healer Within. He has been hidden by my doubts of not being able to heal all those who make seek/have sought my healing energies, since I myself am in need of the healing. Yet I realized that the two are not mutually exclusive, and for me to heal, I have to relax, and to accept that it is OK to get healing from other sources - I don't have to do it alone, in other words. I will continue to remember the image of this wizened old/young man within, because I have always known that I, too, am capable of healing, both myself, and others.
     "One cannot lead where one has not gone himself," is an interesting phrase for one such as I, who enjoys the role of Devil's Advocate. Firstly, I agree that I cannot ask others to take a step that I have not taken (or were unwilling to take) myself. However, I am very much a follower of the concept of 'leading by example', and I would be more than happy to take that journey right next to those I might be asking to take that first step. In relation to what we are trying to comprehend, however, I know that I needed to learn and understand the different healing arts, meditations, and forms of spiritualities that I have learned, so that I can best help guide those who come to me for help. I believe much of our 'lost humanity', so to speak, is due to forgetting that we are Divine made Flesh. We came from a much better, lighter, and more energized place, in order to be born into the mortal flesh from which we experience and learn what it means to be 'human'. This is the attitude I would take into my role as a health professional, that I can see where we should be, and try to understand my client's motivations and spiritual practices well enough, to help them find their paths a little easier. I think this is the least that I could do to help those who would come to me; I'm not in this is gain megabucks from weekend retreats, I'm here to serve. For through service to others, we are in turn, served. And that is the key to the healing mystery, that concept of what goes around, comes around; as a health professional, I would be cheating others (and ultimately myself) if I did not hold to this awesome ideal.